I've got a big love machine (Beeston version).
Ey up lass, yer mam's been mytherin' mih
Yer dad's a right cunt an' all
Just 'cos I'm spotty, I don't look like Errol Flynn
An' I'm from Beeston, which 'e thinks is minging
But they can't see my greatest assett
I've got a big love machine
I'm 'ung like an 'orse I am (are yer though?)
course I am
I've got 'ampton like t' piston on t' mallard
It's well hard
I've got t' pork sword fer t' world record
A massive love machine
I've got a super, beefy bazooka
A meaty missile, an' it's nuclear
I've got a torpedo that's star o' t' show
A pink polaris, a ballistic boneo
They don't cackle at my wedding tackle
I've got a big love machine